Temper
by Mr. Fluffy Fluff
Summary: Al bets Ed that he can't keep his temper under control. How far will Roy go to get a rise out of Ed? Note: Changed, no yaoi. Can't fit it in, just fun. Enjoy! XD
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is going to be a short fic. It's just a cute fluff fic I thought of making. It's a tad bit cliché but I couldn't help myself. Anyways hope you like! This is yaoi, if you don't like that, please don't bother to read. Please review! Thank you!

**Temper**

**Chapter One**

Ed fumed, steam was streaming through his ears again and his face was bright red. He was like a little throbbing vein. People were too scared to provoke it anymore for the fear that it might explode.

No matter how much time you spent with Edward, no matter how many times you would _say _you were use to it, you never really were. No one was. Some tolerated it yes, but were they ever brush it away as easy as dust from their shoulders?

No.

Alphonse sighed. He lost count on how many times this has happened. He didn't know why he started counting these fights but he did, even though it was pretty much impossible to keep up.

"It can't be that bad, brother. You know he's just teasing. The Colonel is like that with everyone." Al tried to reassure Ed.

It was like this all the time… almost every time actually. Every time they would come back from a mission. Every time they would check in for their report. Every time Ed sat on that decently comfy couch, Colonel Roy Mustang was there to piss him off. It started to get to a point where Al was sure the Flame Alchemist did it unconsciously.

"One! One slip up and he chews me up, Al! I mean, I know some of the things I do I deserved to be scolded for but this one nearly went perfect! He could have at least held back the short insults!"

Al sighed again. 'Why do I have a feeling it wouldn't be any different either way.' He thought. Ed and the Colonel had interesting chemistry. They were the kind of people who, if they didn't have anything to bicker about, they would _find _something to bicker about.

Sometimes it was entertaining. Sometimes it was scary. And other times it was just plain annoying.

Light bulb!

Al had an idea. A mischievous idea. An oh-so-evil idea. 'Ugh.' He had to remind himself to start hanging out with better influences. Alphonse shrugged. Being a devilish saint wasn't so bad.

"You know, I think there's a reason why you fight with the Colonel all the time." Edward gave him a funny look.

"Oh really. Well tell me, wise one. Why do you think I fight with him all the time? Could it be because he's an asshole? Or because he's useless and thinks he's better than me? Oh! Or the fact that he constantly throws short jokes at me? I've got a list." Al chuckled, amused with his brother's attitude.

"No, it's because you can't."

"I can't! What do you mean I can't!"

"I mean that you can't control your temper." Ed pouted.

"I can too!" Alphonse was snickering. Couldn't see it, but you could definitely tell he was.

"See, you're already losing your temper." Ed 'hmph'ed him and glared at him from the corner of your eye.

"Do you propose I do something about it?" Suddenly, Al understood why his brother was so devilish. It felt good.

"No, brother. I propose a bet." Ed almost had a hard time swallowing.

"What kind of bet?"

**Three weeks later...**

"Colonel, Major Hughes called. A new conflict has occurred in the east. It's between the new troops and the south east territory of Xing. Apparently things are getting a bit hectic over there and they are asking for assistance." Elizabeth Hawkeye informed the Colonel.

"Yes, of course." Roy didn't know why but today felt funny. There was nothing ominous about today. The crows were cawing, the sun was burning, and the air felt polluted by Havoc's cigarette. Yes, one would agree that it was a beautiful day.

"You okay there, Colonel? You seem a bit off today." Havoc said, moving his cancer stick a bit between his teeth. Fury was minding his own business, not really speaking at the moment.

"Yes, yes." Roy lazily waved a hand in the air. "It's just an uneventful day I suppose." Hawkeye quirked an eyebrow.

"You have become a jaded person sir." Roy just shrugged. This was one of those days where he wished all his subordinates were in the room. With them around, it was never boring. Today it was only him, Hawkeye, Havoc and Fury.

Hawkeye was always strict, enough said. Havoc went on and off, and today he was off. Fury was pleasant, but he was a shy person. One who preferred to join the fun rather than make it.

"Sir." Roy slowly turned his head towards Riza.

"Yes, Hawkeye?" He responded in a monotone voice.

"Just a reminder, sir, Edward is coming in an hour to give us his report." Roy perked up a bit. Fullmetal always made things interesting. His childish antics weren't surprising anymore, but they never grew old.

* * *

"Remember, brother, you--" Ed interrupted his younger brother.

"I know, I know. You don't need to remind me. It is just a week... right? Please don't tell me it's more than a week!" Alphonse chuckled.

"Yes, brother, just a week." Ed looked relieved but still annoyed.

"Put on a big smile, brother."

"Don't push it, Al." Ed sighed. He was on his way to the Colonel's office.

Twenty feet. 'I can do this. All I have to do is... be the exact opposite of me.'

Fifteen feet. 'Just act like someone else, some one who's always calm and collected.'

Ten feet. 'I can... not do this!'

Five feet. 'There's no way I'm gonna pull it off.' He stared at the door then turned to his brother who gave him a thumbs up. Edward took one last breath and turned the knob to the door.

* * *

All was silent in the room, save a few foots steps and paper fluttering. Roy perked up when he heard the door knob squeak. Finally things would get more interesting.

"Well, well. If it isn't the infamous Edward Elric. Hope you brought good news." Roy put on a dazzling smirk, and tainted his words with sarcasm. It was usually the spark that was close to setting things off.

"Morning, Colonel." Ed breathed out calmly. "It's good to see you too." He didn't say it with sarcasm, malice or anything. He said it like... nothing. Bored, expressionless, calm... creepy. Havoc looked at Hawkeye and Hawkeye looked at Havoc. Both sending a secret language to each other.

Translation: Huh?

Roy just blinked. Fullmetal was probably just tired, or upset. That was the only explanation. Havoc coughed then he cleared his throat. "Yes... well, do you have your report, Fullmetal."

"Yes, sir." Ed replied with a slight nod, he walked over to Roy and handed him the report rather than the usual harshly-shoves-it-in-his-hand routine. He took a few steps back and stood there, waiting for his orders. Something was wrong with the military's wild puppy. Roy shrugged, and ignored it... or at least tried to. He started to read the report. His eyebrow twitched and caught the attention of Riza and Havoc.

'The chief is gonna get yelled at for sure.' Havoc thought.

'Please don't start something big, Colonel." Riza tried to mentally send the message.

Fury shrugged, but kept a sharp ear on what was happening.

Roy read over it again, it was only three pages long. In all those three pages, nothing wrong happened.

Twitch.

This was wrong. Something wrong _always _happened with Fullmetal. He looked at Edward, who stood at attention. Straight, calm, and professional. He didn't have the usual pissed off scowl he had on his face and that was... creepy.

"Is... this it, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, a tone behind his question yelled 'tell me _everything.'_

"Yes, sir." Roy raised an eyebrow then smirked.

"Something else had to of happened. This report is... well to put it bluntly boring. I demand to know everything that happened, Fullmetal, no secrets." Roy's suspicion always peeved Edward. Riza and Havoc prepared for the young blonde's vicious response.

"No secrets, sir. Nothing eventful happened in Xenotime. After the red water was rid of, the town started to rely on agriculture for income. The town is now steady even with some of the military troops present." Havoc was confused, Riza was baffled, Fury was pondering and Roy was dumbstruck.

The boy didn't seem disturb or distraught. Nor depressed, upset or anything else. Actually Ed was surprising himself and scaring himself a little too. Havoc was tapping his foot on the ground a bit, he turned his head to he could look at Ed from the side.

"You feeling okay, chief?" Ed turned to him and nodded.

"Yeah, why?" Ed tilted his head very slightly to the side giving him a very cute and innocent look.

"Um, no reason." Havoc turned back around. 'What kind of a look was that?' Roy shrugged slightly. He knew what to say to make the kid lose his cool. Colonel Roy Mustang always knew what to say.

"Well congratulations, short stop. You have successfully gone through a mission without destroying anything." Roy's subordinates almost groaned.

'Why did he have to say short?' The three thought.

"Thank you, sir." Ed smiled a little. Not that evil I'm-going-to-kill-you smile, but just a friendly smile. Roy's subordinates visibly flinched, including Roy himself. Maybe he just missed the word _short._ 'But Fullmetal never misses the words short, small, tiny, bean, or any other word that relates to those.' Roy said to himself. He shifted a bit; he wasn't expecting this.

"Fullmetal, you should really start taking some of your vitamins. You're so small I have to struggle to find you sometimes." Roy said in a cocky tone of voice.

"I'll work on it sir. Thank you for the advice." Everyone nearly shivered. Havoc rubbed his arms to try and get rid of the imaginary goose bumps.

"Is it chilly in here? It just got chilly in here, didn't it? I think it's chilly in there." He said. The chief as spooking him out a bit. 'He's possessed.' He thought. Riza on the other hand was confused and a little bit un-nerved and Fury... looked like he didn't care.

"Fullmetal, I am saying that you are short. Small. Tiny. A bean. A bean sprout. A grain of sand, speck of dust." No way could Fullmetal miss all of those.

"Yeah, I knew and it's true. Not as exaggerated as you put it but I am short." Ed said in that same monotone, calm voice. Havoc stopped moving and Riza nearly tripped; she didn't but she felt like she almost did. Fury was the only one making noises, he was organizing some paperwork and again seemed like he didn't care or wasn't bothered.

"You're... not bothered at all?" Roy asked in disbelief, Ed shook his head.

"Why would I be? It's true isn't it? At least I'm not a legal midget." Ed said with a small smile.

"But you're short."

"Yes sir, we established that."

"Short."

"Yes."

"...short."

"Correct."

"..." Why couldn't Roy think of anything to say? He always knew what to say. _Always! _But he didn't. Roy didn't know what to say to the attractive blonde.

"Can I be dismissed sir?" Roy mumbled a stuttered 'yes' and Ed left.

Riza was the first to break the silence.

"That was strange." She admitted.

"You think something is wrong with the chief? There's gotta be something wrong with him!" Havoc exclaimed.

"The day has probably been good to him." Riza suggested. Both were a little startled when Roy started to laugh.

"No no no. Fullmetal is playing a game I'm sure. The little runt is just playing some mind games, I'll make him crack! I, Roy Mustang, will be the first to beat his idiotic little charade!" Roy laughed again and his subordinates just sighed.

"No one but you, Colonel." They said together. No one really noticed quiet Fury on the side. Who would when there was a chaotic Colonel in the room? But if they did notice they would have seen that he was smiling.

'You are a good actor, Edward.' Fury silently complemented.

* * *

Ed couldn't resist the urge to laugh.

"You really should have been there, Al! Their looks were priceless!" He managed to say between laughed.

"Honestly, I didn't think you could pull it off." Al had been leaning close to the door, listening contently. "You kind of scared me." Ed laughed a little bit more.

"Yeah, I kind of scared myself. I deserve a reward!" Al would have smiled if he could.

"Let's get you something to eat, but Ed."

"Yes."

"Make sure I'm not around when you're acting like you were back there." Al was limited to what he felt, but what Ed did really did give him the willies.

**To be continued...**

A/N: Well hoped you enjoyed, there's going to be about seven or eight more chapters to this. Each one for each day of the week. Please review. Thank you for reading, and I'll make the next chapter more eventful. XP


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow, I'm surprised how many reviews I got. I wasn't expecting that much, because I wasn't so confident about this fic... I'm still kind of not confident about this fic. Oh well, thank you! I do not own FMA, and please review.

**Temper**

**Chapter Two**

Monday.

Crows were cawing, sun was burning and the air was smogged up by Havoc's cigarette. One would agree that it was a beautiful day, like always.

"Sir... may I ask... what are you doing?" Riza asked Mustang.

Yes it was a lovely day. With the cawing of the crows, the burning of the sun, the pollution from the Havoc... and the scribble sounds of a pen against paper.

"Working, Hawkeye. What else would I be doing?" He replied sternly, never taking his eyes off his paper work. His was sitting in his desk, in his nice comfy chair, finishing his paper work as quickly as possible. Havoc had a 'what-the-hell' look on his face. He turned to Riza and said,

"At least it's not as weird as what the chief did yesterday." She nodded in agreement.

"There is nothing weird about me doing my work." Roy informed.

"Yes there is." Havoc and Riza said simultaneously.

Roy grunted and ignored them; he was almost done. After this he would have plenty of time to put him plans into actions.

Today's agenda: piss off Edward.

It was then Fury walked in with a cart full of books and a brown flat package tucked under his arm.

"I brought the things you requested, Colonel." Roy signed one of the last dozen papers he had and looked up.

"Just set it aside my desk for now, Fury." Fury did as he was told, laying the small package on top of the desk and looked at the colonel strangely. He shrugged it off though, figuring he was up to something. Something not good.

"**Done!**" The colonel yelled triumphantly. Everyone jumped a little at the colonel's random exclamation. "Hawkeye, where is Fullmetal!" He commanded eagerly.

"I'm... not sure, sir." She replied, a little stunned with the colonel's antics.

"Um..." Fury's shy voice came into play. "I saw him at the library when you told me to get the books..." An evil glint shined in Roy's eye.

"Bring him to my office immediately, Fury." He said while grabbing the small package Fury previously settled on his desk. Havoc shifted and Hawkeye made a slightly nervous shrug. Fury had gone to retrieve Edward, and everyone could _feel _Roy's devilish aura.

* * *

"Ed." The short blonde looked up from his book, it was Fury. "The colonel wants to see you." Ed nodded and closed his book, putting it back in its place before he followed beside Fury.

"Have any idea why he wants me?" Ed asked, making some small talk.

"No but it's can't be good. He's planning something. I'm just not sure what. So... did you lose a bet?" Fury smiled and Ed shook his head.

"I made one. If I win, Al can't bother me about stray cats anymore."

"And if you lose?" Fury asked curiously.

* * *

_"If I win brother, you have to promise me that you'll use the stone to fix your body first." The younger Elric said firmly._

_"But Al-"_

_"No buts! A bet's a bet." Ed sighed and agreed. _

_"Okay Al, I promise." Ed could see the smile reflecting off Al, maybe others couldn't but he could._

_"Oh and you have to..." Al whispered in Ed's ear, as if it were a secret meant for him and Edward only. Ed's hazel-golden eyes widen._

_"Say what!"_

* * *

Ed moaned a little at the memory. He motioned his finger to Fury signaling 'come over here'. Fury leaned in as Ed whispered in his ear. First expression was surprised, then amused, then bubbly with laughter. Ed pouted.

"That's why I'm trying really hard to win this bet." He said. Fury ceased some of this laughter.

"I'm rooting for you, Ed. Good luck though. The colonel is working against you and it doesn't look like he's going to give up so easily." Ed sighed.

"You don't need to tell me that. Mustang is a maniac, anyone can clearly see that." Fury laughed again.

"I'll help out if you want me to."

"Isn't that cheating?"

"Not if anyone finds out." Fury made a boy-ish smile.

"I didn't know there was a dark side to you Sergeant Major."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me and besides we're not all as innocent as we seem."

(A/N: o.o I just gave Fury another personality. XD)

* * *

Ed walked in the colonel's office after Fury. He had the same calm expression on as he walked in front of Roy's desk.

"You needed me, sir?" He asked with a fake, but not noticeable, tone of respect.

'I wonder if the boss will blow his top off today.' Havoc wondered.

'Could it be an illness that Edward has caught?' Hawkeye asked herself, trying to figure out the great mystery that is Edward Elric. Both looked at attention but they were really observing as closely to the Fullmetal Alchemist and the Flame Alchemist.

"Yes, do you see those books, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, implying the ones in the cart. They were large books, close to thirty of them. Big thick books. The kind of book that you could probably knock out a person with, if you were to hit them hard enough over the head. Ed glanced at them and then looked back at Roy.

"Yes, sir." He said with a little nod.

"I want you to carry them back to the library for me." Roy's three present subordinates faltered.

'Is that really the best you could do colonel?' All three of them thought.

"Right away Colonel." Ed said reaching out for the cart.

"But!" Ed stopped, slightly startled by Roy's outburst. "I do not want you to use the cart, Fullmetal."

Ed blinked, was the colonel crazy? Stupid? Or could he be planning some evil genius concoction to try and piss him off?

"May I ask why I can't use the cart, sir?" Ed asked timidly on the outside, threatening to kill the colonel on the inside.

"Because, Fullmetal." Roy got up and stood next to the cart. "It's broken." He kicked the tiny wheel hard enough for it to break off. The books made loud flutters then thuds before they hit the floor. Ed raised his eyebrows while looking at the books, and Roy smirked. "Even a small bean such as you can do such a simple task, as carrying books to a library without being crushed. Or am I wrong?"

Havoc and Riza didn't notice but they held their breath, waiting for Ed's reaction. Fury was a little curious too but he wasn't waiting as anxiously as the first and second lieutenant. Ed blinked a couple of times before he looked up at Roy with a bright charming smile. Making everyone, minus Fury jerk then shiver.

"That's okay, sir. I'll just fix it." Ed said with the same convincing smile.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch went Roy's eyebrow.

"No!" The peeved colonel yelled as Ed picked up the broken wheel. "I gave you a direct order to _carry _the books, not fix the cart and wheel them back!" He barked.

"But, sir--" Ed try to reason, as strange at it sounds.

"No Fullmetal! You deliberately tried to disobey my orders!" Ed tried again to have a say in the situation.

"Sir, I was just--" Again he was interrupted.

"Drop and give me twenty, Fullmetal!" Ed looked surprised and everyone was now staring at Roy.

"What?" Ed squeaked out.

"You heard me Fullmetal drop and give me twenty, right now!" Havoc caught his cigarette quickly when it dropped out of his mouth and Hawkeye had the expression of a gold fish for a few seconds. Reluctantly Ed slowly went to the floor. As soon as his body nearly touched the floor Roy practically ran to Edward and stood on his back. A small 'oof' coming out of Ed as he did.

'What is this boot camp? Damn, he's heavy! Does his uniform hide his fat ass or something!' Ed thought, completely enraged though he didn't show it. It took a lot not to show his real expression. _A lot. _But some how he managed.

"While I'm young, Fullmetal!" Roy said out loud. Ed sighed and did as he was told, mentally naming Roy every name in the book after each push up. Hawkeye and Havoc stared, their eyes wide and their mouths slightly agape. Never did they think they would live to see the day when Edward did push ups commanded by Roy Mustang… while the guy was standing on his back nonetheless.

Roy would have smirked but nothing was working! He thought if he just tried a little harder that Fullmetal would ignite and explode. The short blonde practically started a battle when he would just _hear _the word small or short. Why wasn't he ranting and raving when Roy was commanding him to do some of the most ridiculous things? It boggled the mind! He got off Ed's back when he was done with his push ups. Edward stood up his cheeks slightly flustered, other wise his face was completely expressionless, much like Hawkeye.

Roy's eyebrow twitched. Oh how he wanted to wrap his glove hands around that pale neck and _squeeze _it tight.

"Sorry, for my disobedience colonel." Crash! Thump! Havoc picked himself up and put his seat on all four of its legs again. He coughed and mumbled a sorry.

It was like a dart shot right in Roy's ass; he was stunned. He watched as the blonde youth collected some of the large books in his arms, this was not Edward Elric. 'It's a devil...' He thought. He then remembered the brown package and tried to shake off as much of his shock as possible.

"Fullmetal! Before you go, I have something for you." He handed Ed the flat brown package that was almost forgotten. Ed looked at it curiously.

"What's this, sir?" He asked, looking up at Roy.

"Open it and find out, Fullmetal." He replied with a smug look. Edward ripped some of the brown paper at the top and took out the contents inside. It was a uniform. A nice, clean bonified blue military uniform but something was wrong with it. Something was _very_ wrong with it.

"Colonel, it's too big." He said holding up the pants. "I can literally fit in one of the pant legs and still have room to spare sir." Ed's voice didn't waver but he had a small pout on his face.

"Well that's too bad now, isn't it? You get what you're handed. For now on you must follow military regulations and wear this uniform. Do I make myself clear, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, his voice firm and loud.

Ed looked at the pants funny. He wasn't pissed, he was just surprised. These were not pants. This was not a uniform. This was a mansion for a homeless person. Havoc couldn't help but snicker a little, and even Hawkeye twitched a smile on her face. Fury sweatdropped.

'I told him he was going to try hard to make him mad.'

"Yes, sir." Ed breathed out; folding the monstrous pants he was sure he'd get lost in if he were to put them on. Roy smirked.

"Good, you may now leave." Ed sighed, carrying the heavy load of books and the house-uniform in his arms. 'How am I gonna last a week through this!'

* * *

"Thanks for helping me, Al." Ed said, placing the last book in place.

"No problem. But, brother, why did you let the colonel get away with all that?" Al asked curiously, he wasn't there but Ed told him all about it when they crossed paths down the hall way.

"The bet, remember?"

"Yeah but if that were me I wouldn't stand it!"

"What!"

"I wouldn't care if he were the colonel, that's almost abusing his power." Ed slouched down on the floor.

"And here I was thinking that's exactly how you would have acted." He heaved a heavy sigh and got up. "I'll be back later Al."

"Where are you going?"

"To a tailor."

**To be continued...**

A/N: Man, talk about parallel. I'm making everything turn upside down. Well I hope you like it, thank you for reading and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you, everyone, for all the reviews, excusing some of my grammar and spelling errors. I'm glad to hear so many people enjoyed it, because I honestly am iffy about this fic. Why? This fic is my leisure writing. I write it because I'm bored and just feel like doing it. By the end of the written chapter, I forget about half the things I have written in it. Kind of sad how my lazy writing is my best. I shouldn't complain though. (I'm probably trying too hard with my other fics or something. XP) Well hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!

Oh! And one more thing, I go by the personalities in the manga more than anything else. So if you watch the anime only and you feel like everyone is a little off. (Not counting Roy and Ed XD) That's because I'm going by the manga. It's not much of a big difference though so don't worry. Enjoy!

**Temper**

**Chapter Three**

**Tuesday**

"How does it fit?" The young perky woman said while working on the last adjustments of the Fullmetal Alchemist's pants.

"It's fine, but my braid feels weird against the collar!" Edward exclaimed, starting to get annoyed with his newly found problem. The material was rigid for the most part and was rubbing Ed's hair the wrong way, literally! Every time he moved his head his braid would scrap along the fabric, and some of the small hairs would be pulled as well. It was irritating, both on the back of his neck and on his nerves.

"Try putting it up!" She suggested. Ed undid his braid and put it up in a ponytail just as the young woman said. He smiled a little; it felt a lot better now. He then sighed, and turned to the woman.

"Are you done with my pants yet?" He had to catch Hughes today and give him some of Winry's baked pie, with Edward's special secret ingredient in it. Not to mention all the paper he had to move from the closet before Al would start questioning him. Maybe he should have put the paper in a better hiding spot… too late now though.

He was tired of standing with his boxers exposed. 'Good thing I'm not in Rush Valley.' He thought, remembering the last time he went there. Being bombarded by auto mail engineers was not his idea of fun. Especially when they stripped you down to your underwear.

(A/N: I'll say it again just to remind people, I'm going by the manga.)

"Almost..." Ten minutes later she smiled proudly. "It's finished!" She announced and handed Ed his pants. He quickly put them on and looked at himself in the mirror. She did a really good job, considering that he gave the uniform to her late afternoon yesterday. 'Big tip for you, lady.'

"Why does it look different on me?" He asked curiously.

"Well I don't know how the make their uniforms exactly so I just had it fit your body. Not that I'm saying it was a bad thing you came," She was more than happy to adjust his uniform when he came in. Sure it was more work but the payment he would have to make would be worth it. "But why didn't you just exchange your... large uniform for a small one?" Large being an understatement.

"My boss wouldn't let me." Ed said with a wistful sigh. He waved bye to her after he paid her. The young woman looked at the amount he paid and the fat tip he gave her.

"I love his boss." She said to no one in particular.

* * *

"Whoops!" Scheska laughed sheepishly after she nearly tripped with a few documents in her hands. It wasn't even noon yet and already things were starting to get hectic and busy. She then noticed a familiar man walking, or rather jogging in a marching fashion, down the hall. 'Oh!' She thought, putting on a pleasent smile. 

"Good morning Lieutenant Colonel..." He whizzed right past her.

"Morningsorrygottago!" He yelled as he rushed to his destination. Scheska blinked; it was probably something important. She then noticed someone else walking down the hall; he wasn't in the same pursuit as Hughes but he was in somewhat of a rush. She immediately recognized the blonde hair and put on another smile.

"Good Morning, Edward." She said pleasantly.

"Morning, Scheska!" He said equally as cheerful as Scheska, stopping a little to greet her. That was when she noticed something different, but before she could ask- "Sorry, Scheska, gotta run!" He said and went off in the same direction as Hughes. She blinked and shrugged it off. 'Since when did Edward wear a uniform?' She thought. Tears of sorrow sprang from her eyes. "And why doesn't he look as boxy in it as the rest of us?"

* * *

Maes quickly opened the door and rushed over to the first stall. He pants practically flew off. He sat down and finally did what he was so desperate to do for the past twenty minutes or so. 

'Made it.' He thought, letting out a content sigh. 'My God, Winry. What the hell was wrong with your pie!' He shrugged it off. No one's cooking could be as good as his wife's.

Hughes reached out for some paper but all he felt was the metal bar that held the roll of butt paper. "Aww, man."

"I have your paper hostage." Ed said from outside of the stall door. Hughes flinched a little; he was surprised. Hughes didn't notice at all that someone came into the bathroom.

"Ed?"

"Yup." Hughes had a suspicious feeling.

"Umm... can I have the paper back please?"

"No."

"Why!"

"Because, I need you to do something for me." Hughes groaned then sighed.

"Okay, Ed. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to keep Roy occupied. He's driving me crazy with all his damn orders." Ed huffed then pouted.

"I can't control everything he does-"

"Then try!" Hughes flinched again.

"Fine, I'll help out just give me the paper." He didn't hear anything. He just heard a few foot steps. He sighed, thinking Edward let. That wasn't fair.

BAM!

"AHHHHH!"

"Here you go, Hughes." Ed said handing him the roll of paper after he busted the stall door open.

"Okay, just get OUT!" He hissed while pulling his top jacket as far down as it could go, trying to cover himself. Edward laughed like a mad man as he left the men's bathroom. Hughes mumbled a few curses and went on with his business. It then occurred to him.

"Was that Ed in a uniform?"

* * *

Roy let out a yawn and stretched a little. 

"Colonel." Hawkeye said. He turned in his chair to face her.

"Alphonse is here to speak to you." Roy raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Let him in." Riza opened the door and walked out after Al walked in.

"What do you need, Alphonse?" Roy asked; his expression mixed with boredom and curiosity at the same time.

"I want to help you with brother!" Roy raised his head a little.

"Help me?"

"Yes. Brother has been acting really weird lately, even I don't know why." He lied. "I've heard you have been trying everything to get him back to normal." Translation: I've been listening through the door and everything you have done so far hasn't done shit.

"I know many of Ed's peeves and if you do it something might trigger to get him to normal!" Al exclaimed. "So do you accept my offer?" Al asked, putting his innocent desperate voice on. Sometimes his armor really was an advantage, he didn't have to struggle trying to keep on a straight face.

Roy pondered a bit before he looked up at Al and nodded. "Sure!"

"Great!" Al said happily.

'There's no way I'll lose now.' Al thought.

* * *

Sparkle. Sparkle. 

"Major Armstrong, you don't need to come with me." Ed stated, a little irritated but hid it for the most part.

"I have business with the colonel as well, Edward Elric." Armstrong claimed with his glorious sparkles and all. He heard Ed sigh.

Armstrong squinted his eyes suspiciously towards Edward, there was something different about him, and it wasn't because of his hair or uniform. He decided to ignore it.

Ed opened the door to the colonel's office. He was dreading whatever was to come, but like the great actor he is, hid his emotion well. When he opened the door he noticed Hughes was in the room as well, probably there to try and keep the colonel from doing... whatever he was planning. Hawkeye was at the side as always, and Fury was scurrying around. He didn't appear to be doing anything though, looked more like he was stalling to stay there. For a good show most likely. Armstrong greeted Mustang and saluted.

"Fullmetal!" The colonel hollered. "Where is the uniform I provided you?" peeved that Ed's uniform looked so good on him, rather than boxy or uncomfortable like almost everyone else.

"I'm wearing it. It's the same one just with... adjustments." For God sake's Ed would have been lost for weeks if he wore the pants the way they were! Roy huffed out an irritated sigh.

Ed then noticed something on Mustang's desk and became completely frigid. It wasn't fair! The colonel never saw him, how could he know! Did he guess? Did someone tell him? Who told the colonel? Why!

There on the colonel's desk was one of the most disgusting things on this planet.

It was evil!

It was vile!

It was… milk.

(A/N: For those of you who don't know or haven't noticed Roy doesn't really know about Ed's hatred for milk. Why? Because he's never seen his reaction to milk. The only military personnel who were there to see Ed drink milk - or more like Winry tried to make him drink it- was Armstrong, Maria, and Brooch. Is that guys name right? Anyways, I wanted to point that out so people won't get confused or start ranting.)

Roy smirked, he was suddenly dancing inside after seeing the look on Ed's face.

"Good morning, Armstrong. Fullmetal." Ed nodded and saluted. 'That milk better be for him.' He thought.

"Before I have my discussion with you, Armstrong, Fullmetal," Ed nearly flinched. "I've been concerned about your dieting habits." Melon! That's what he'll give Ed! Just like the President. He'll be nice like the President.

(A/N: Again in the manga the President gives Ed's melons when he greets him sometimes. Oh! And the President is the Furher, I don't really like to use Furher so I go by what the translators named him: President. If you want to know why I don't like the name Furher, it's because that was another name for Hitler. I'm not being uber sensitive or whatnot, I just don't like to think of the head honcho of the military being named after Hitler.)

"So, Fullmetal. To put this short and let me get on with my business I order you to drink this milk." Ed visibly flinched to the colonel's great satisfaction.

No way! Why? It's nasty! To drink something from a cow, something that came from its squishy utters. Squishy utters that are dirty and have been sucked on by baby cows. Touched by dirty hands, and squeezed out. Out of utters. Big floppy pink things that sag under a cow's belly. White nasty liquid that came out of utters. Big saggy utters. Utters. With weird finger looking things that dangled out of them. Milk squeezed out of them. Squeezed from hands that would touch those nasty finger looking things.

"Edward, are you okay? You look a little pale." Hawkeye spoke up. She also noticed he was starting to turn a little green. Ed snapped out of his trance and looked at Riza.

"I'm okay, it's just... I'm not a big fan of milk." Roy smirked widened. Thank you, Alphonse.

"Too bad, Fullmetal. Drink it." Everyone's attention was towards Ed. Hawkeye was wondering if he would be okay, Fury was amused along with Armstrong and Hughes gave him a look telling Ed: _I told you I can't control everything he does._ Again Roy's subordinates didn't notice they were holding their breath. Ed huffed and marched up to Roy's desk. He roughly grabbed the glass of milk, and looked up at Roy. He wanted to throw it in his face, but he couldn't. The bet.

"Are you afraid, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, trying to make Ed pop. He waited and waited and waited some more. Just when Roy thought Ed would give in, he didn't. Instead, the young blonde alchemist pouted and chugged down the milk. His eyes were shut tight, and he was drinking the milk as fast as he could, harshly putting down the glass on the desk when he was finished.

'He... he drank it...' Was pretty much everyone's thought.

'Oh god... that was nasty.' Ed thought, trying to settle the liquid in his stomach.

"Edward Elric I am proud of you!" Armstrong cried out. Ed made an 'urk'-ish sound when Armstrong gave him a tight bear hug.

(A/N: Again the manga.)

"You'll grow up big and strong if you keep this up! Good job, young Edward Elric!" Ed was not looking so hot though.

"Major Armstrong... maybe you should put him down." Fury suggested.

'My stomach! Why did he have to press down on my stomach!' Ed thought, getting out of Armstrong's grip and quickly running out the office.

They heard Ed's footsteps down the hall, then an 'OOF!' and a thump. He bumped into someone.

"You think he'll make it to the bathroom?" Hughes asked out loud. As if on cue they heard the sound of Ed losing his breakfast.

"My shoes! My uniform!" Havoc cried out, Ed mumbled a weak apology. Just a few moments later they heard footsteps coming back to the colonel's office. It was Ed of course, still looking slightly pale but a little bit better. This was it, Ed was gonna lose it. Roy could feel it in his bones.

"I didn't think milk would be too much to handle for the great Edward Elric." Roy teased. Ed wanted him to die. Make the man drink milk until he was as fat as a cow. He wasn't sure what to say, Ed had a feeling if he commented he'd lose him temper no matter how hard he tried. So he did something else.

Ed made a thumbs up and said, "Yaaay!".

(A/N: All the Azumanga Daioh fans in the house say, Wooo! -hears a couple of Woo's- ... damn.)

Fury quickly put a hand over his mouth and turned around, stifling his laughter. Hawkeye lost her stern composer and giggled, while Armstrong's sparkles feel to the ground. Hughes had a big grin on his face and Roy was as pale as Ed.

Ed felt another lurching feeling in his stomach and decided to leave, waving bye to everyone. Roy snapped out of his shocked and disappointed state.

'I'm gonna need something stronger than milk.' He noted to himself.

* * *

Ed took another sip of his tea. He looked at the bread shaped as a cute crab in front of him. He didn't want to eat it so he decided to just play with it; pressing his finger down on it and watching the legs move funny. 

(A/N: All the Yakitate! Japan fans in the house say, Wooo! -hears nothing- T.T No one has heard of that manga or anime, so sad.)

"Feeling better now, brother?" Al asked. Ed nodded.

"I can't help but wonder how he knows I don't like milk." Again Al was glad he was a suit of armor at the moment.

"Maybe he just guessed." Ed sighed and agreed.

"Hey, Al."

Alphonse nearly 'eep'ed and almost blurted out; _I didn't do it! You can't prove anything!_ Luckily he didn't.

"Yes, brother?"

"Can you take out the toilet paper from closet for me?"

**To be continued...**

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please review... um... and please don't be so harsh. My dignity has been a little bruised lately. Why? I rather not go into detail. x.x

**Jettie's A/N: You can do it! Be strong!**

A/N: Huzzah:poses: Ow... my dignity...


	4. Important Author Note!

OMG! I'm so sorry everyone!

Well I wanna let you know that I'm not dead and I think you guys deserve an explanation why I haven't updated in a long time!

Well okay so my computer busted and it took about four months or so. I was thinking, yay! I can finally update!

NO! D:

I am extremely busy and when I have time to write I'm tired. I need rest to function properly. I'm so sorry!

But yeah, I'll update in about two to four weeks, I'll hopefully be done with all my financial aid stuff before then.

Forgive me! DDD:


	5. Chapter 5

It's been too long since I've went back into this account. I love the e-mail a while ago and recently rerieved it.

I am going to dedicate some of my time of bringing back some old stories and making new ones! I hope my skills have improved and I apologize for everyone who waited and waited for a promised chapter that was never delivered. D:

But that will change! Wish me luck! Much love everyone! :)

- MM


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